Day 33 June 22
Depression
You do not have to be diagnosed to be depressed. We all have our moments where we are negative or just tired of our circumstances. Sick and tired of being alone, being a single mom is hard and carrying all the responsibilities by yourself takes its toll. Being single and only a dead plant for company has its own depression state that goes along with it. It feels like you are slipping away from the Lord on a daily basis…..what is making us feel like this, is it lack of faith or is life just pressing down so hard that we cannot come up for air? A mentor of mine, lets call her Caz, once told me that you cannot hear the Lord clearly when you are in that state of mind, its like driving through a really bad reception area and the message is breaking up and nothing is making sense. You have to put the phone down get through that area and then try connecting again later.
Right so we are placed with two problems, one I am sad, depressed, alone, negative all the time and I am just not happy because nothing is working out for me. Problem two, I cannot hear the Lord at all to get out of this place back into a place of joy!!! So what can I do?
I am very hard on myself I want my car to run on high speed all the time, I want my refs to run in the 8000’s and stay there…..eish, I am going to blow my “casket” – translated treasure chest or strong box. Is that not exactly what we do? And Yahweh says: “You are my treasure, my strong box, protect yourself from blowing up”
You know I once had this vision of satan with his pitch black horns sitting with all his demon buddies on a wall looking down on us like they watching a movie and they messy eating, screaming, grunting and throwing black popcorn at us. Every time we cry and get depressed, feel lonely and sad, they laugh and throw more popcorn and snigger!! We are this movie to them, entertainment to their deep black souls. I do not want to entertain satan and his buddies in anyway at all.
The last two weeks I have been occupying myself with this little exercise, asking the Lord to help me get out of this negative thinking and operating in that negative space everyday. I cannot turn the corners at a speed that would let me wipe out….I need to slow down get through the turn or get through the bad reception area so that I can hear clearly again…..so what did I do?
I geared down and took some pressure off myself. One step at a time, walking out of bad thinking takes patients and time, so I took advice from an interesting book that said renew your mind, breaking negative thought patterns. With advice from Caz I started wearing an elastic band around my arm everyday, every time I have a bad thought like, “I am not good enough” I shoot myself with the elastic and I say “GOD IS FAITHFUL!!!” My body starts to respond in a way that she does not want to think negative thoughts because she is going to experience pain and satan stops attacking her mind because if he does bring a negative thought she will just start praising the Father, he hates it when you do that so he will start leaving you alone…..
I started 2 weeks ago, planning on going for 40 days (40 breaks a habit) and my progress so far is amazing. I started hearing the Lord again yesterday; I am making wiser decisions, time managing my day so much better. I am not so forgetful as I was and I am thinking thoughts like “No matter the outcome, it is exactly what God wants, he is in control again and I am not worried”
It is amazing, you have to try this, it is gooood stuff!!!!
*satan’s name does not deserve to be in capital – so it is not a spelling mistake
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