Day 32

June 21

WARNING SIGNS…to be continued

David had a weakness for woman, Moses had low self-esteem, Solomon had a weakness for wealth, Paul was too ashamed to even mention his thorn in the flesh and Peter could not make up his mind. Whatever your weakness is we all have one, nobody is perfect. Embrace your weakness and other people’s flaws but do not be abused or manipulated in any way. Here are a few more tips on dating.

1. Don’t think you can change someone; the person you meet is the person he will stay. Do not think you can pray him into heaven because you are making an altar out of him. People need to walk their own journeys and if you need to minister to someone God will use you to minister to another woman not to the same sex, there is too many dangers in ministering the opposite sex. Encourage him to find a godly man who can help him, but you should get out fast.  You are not sent by God to fix him.  That is the Holy Spirit’s work.
2. If he hits you, twists your arm, pulls your hair, kicks you, shoves you, or breaks your personal property EVEN ONCE, there is a problem
3. If he ill-treats your animals
4. If he tells you he loves you very soon, wants to marry you quickly and promises you the world and a big house…see these as warning signs, a relationship needs time to mature and develop before you think of even getting engaged. Give it time. Do not let your imagination run away with you about marriage and kids before 2 months have passed, just focus on getting to know him. He will fall out of love as quick as he fell in-love with you…impulsive and unpredictable
5. Getting anger outbursts - like driving too fast because his mad, breaking or throwing things, getting into fights, or threatening others - that temper will soon be turned in your direction
6. When he does not support your ministry or does not encourage you to stay involved with the church instead stealing your attention away from the things and plans of God
7. When you decide to get out of an abusive relationship, let your family know and do not listen or be manipulated by pleads that he would change, gifts at this point is a manipulative tools to buy you back. He may even go as far as threatening suicide. He will try and negotiate or deal with halfway measures like "Let's just date one more month” Just be strong and let your family know what is going on so that they can pray with you and support you
8. It can be difficult to be clear-headed in a dating relationship.  It is easy to see only the positive in the other person and completely ignore any warning signs.  Optimism for a relationship can cloud judgment.Continuously ask yourself if this man has the qualities you will need in a husband, that is why you need to see the warning signs
9. Are you more interested in Christ than the man in your life is? Remember you need to submit to him when you DO get married so will he be able to lead your home and your kids spiritually?
10. Does he want to grow spiritually? How passionate is he about reading God’s Word, prayer, and fellowship with other believers in a biblically solid church?  Is he servant-hearted? 
11. Does he expect you to be everything to him and always make him happy
12. The unmarried man’s actions are a good indicator of how he would be during marriage. If he cannot stop himself from having sex with you now why would he be able to resist another woman after you are married. The same applies for sexual innuendo that is inappropriate before marriage.  If he is always broaching conversations about sex, he is not doing a good job of helping you to protect your mind against lust before marriage.  I am not implying that a man has to be a prude, but he is to be a protector.
13. If a man is addicted to pornography or masturbates, he is already committing adultery/fornication in his heart, even before you tie the knot.  He is already showing that he is unwilling to “forsake all others,” and that he is not living a pure lifestyle. God’s will is for your sanctification, which includes purity.  Is that your date’s heart for himself and you?  If it is not, then he is a defrauder, who loves himself more than you or God.  Don’t expect marriage to change him.
14. Try and not give gifts prematurely, let him woo you
15. Let him pursue you, do not drive after him or pick him up. Let him visit you and do not drive home alone late at night, if he allows that you need to ask yourself does he take your needs in consideration
16. You are not his mom, so do not fix his socks or decorate his home

Phew, that is a mouth full, personal experience and some research that would help you along the way. Girls we are not the hunters but the hunted. If he does not pursue you he is not worth it. YOU are however worth it.

Be blessed