Monday 23rd of May

Day 4

since I decided to go on the love fast, I have had an "x" make contact. He asked me out and proceeded to add that he has a girlfriend but coffee is harmless…...

Girls, did his question even justify a response???!!!

Well here goes my first example of male disaster... Christian men.

Dating Christian men has been more traumatic for me than dating men of the world. My girlfriend, lets call her Lindi, and I had a fat conversation about men who are in the church today. Surely they will understand what real dating  is all about.

No, rather they use Christianity to get what they want. Hopefully not all of them, but my experience says they just do not step up to be the men we need and expect Christian men to be.

My very first boyfriend after my divorce seemed so real; almost unbelievable. He loved the Lord, went on retreats, had a good job (he said he was one of 4 directors of a company). He was good looking... well as time passed it seemed odd that I was paying for everything. He always needed money, and then one day he sold his shares in the company and wanted to come live with me and work with me in my company. How convenient. It took me two months to realise he has nothing, all of it was a lie, he needed someone to take care of him financially and I was a soft target. I just did not want to see it in the beginning. It seemed so amazing, my first Christian boyfriend. Me paying for myself in this self sufficient, I can stand on my own, woman culture. I mean, is that not what we do now, pay for ourselves? He always seemed to have forgotten his wallet and would “pay me back”...

Girls advice: he is in it for the money. He made me feel good, he was tender, but had a plan behind it.... and wait for the shocker. He later wanted to convince me that it is okay if we sleep together before we get married because we are dedicated to each other now and we are planning on getting married. He even used scripture.. Mary and Joseph never actually got married, he said, they were married in their hearts....blah, blah blah. The funny thing is when we are in love we fall for these things. It seems ridiculous now, but not when you are emotional and being romanced!

I have learned from this.... girls let him pay for your coffee and if he doesn’t, there may be something wrong because you are so worth it!!!! And seriously if a coffee is going to break the bank, don't even go there. Do not lower your standards. Let him pay, if he knows he needs to look after you from the beginning you have set the standard but if you pay for yourself he will understand that... she is independent, cheap and reliable.... don't be a tire girls. Be a woman who knows her worth!!!!!!!