Day 53 13 July 2011
Walk for life
By Silma van Deventer
Looking back at your life do you wish you never made that choice or took that turn, maybe you at a place where you regret a decision you have made bringing you at a place of regret, shame, stagnation and depression. The past cannot be changed that we know neither can you take back what you have said. Every day of our lives we make mistakes, nobody is perfect. Changing your attitude and adapting to your incident you might just learn something rather than being a baby. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but you do have the ability to walk down
Experience Lane
Experience Lane
When you where a baby lying in your cradle, fragile, dependant and content, you did not need much other than be fed and changed, totally dependant. Then you got a bit older and it was your first day at school. Wearing your uniform, carrying a oversized, box suitcase instead of dragging your security blanket behind you, you where ready to face the world, still innocent and no wisdom you took on the challenges of life because you where convinced that you are all grownup now. Saying your goodbyes to your trusted friend the dummy, it was no longer applicable to hold on to certain securities, still being dependant but starting to grow as a person and developing your personality. A personality has to grow and develop as you go along so that you can be strong enough to face life’s blows, experience is what molds you, but let’s argues the fact, “my dummy worked for me then why not now?” It would be a valid argument from a hypothetical perspective, but when you put it to practice it would be furthest thing from the truth.
Assume for an instant you are fresh out of varsity, you have been working for a year or two, you starting to grow in confidence of who you are and what you are capable of however this is still in a framework of reference that you have adopted and made your own in the past by your parents example or friends. You have now in truth started you’re journey in the real world with your nappy still securely tied around your waist.
It is times like these that you need to stop and re-evaluate your life, where you at, how you got there, and what you need to change within yourself to adapt to your changed environment. Put the same amount of energy into your life that you would in a business or a project, you owe it to yourself. Not all changes are as evident as cradle to school but if you do not change you would die inside. The world changes, friends change, circumstance changes even your day’s change, constant change that you need to deal with and adapt to. Apply your experiences to your life and make it better, try harder ad never give up.
Look at last year where you where at, compared to this year maybe single and now leaving your mere self-absorbed existence in the past and moving into the compromising fifty percent of your life stage. Maybe you where married and this year you are facing a, coming out of nowhere, divorce. What ever changes you are facing you need to move on; you cannot reach new shores if you are anchored in the harbor. You need to let go of the past and move forward. Stop drifting in the waters of shame and regret. Sure there is a period of mourning to express the pain you are feeling but you will have to make the break at some point so that the healing process can begin. Pursue you must and pursue you shall. Be bold, vigorous, focused, alert and passionate.
Complications you will endure, what exactly no one can tell, but if you made the choice to move on roll up the anchor and set to sea. It does not take a genius to know that the sea is unpredictable so their will inevitably be many things to deal with along the way. Destinations, especially when it involves other people, never come with a list of “how to do or what to do”. You may get a few hits or storms along the way but looking back at the end of a voyage it served a purpose.
Inside you will always stay the same person, you are not lesser a YOU, because of your circumstances, but we need to adjust to our environment and not by one set of rules because every situation is different in life. When life changes around you so should you, it does not make you a weaker or more feeble person than the other it just makes you adaptable, compatible, faithful and dependable. It is not your behavior that defines you, it is what you believe in, who you are inside and what you dream of. It is the same as believing that your character changed every time you changed according to your circumstance. You need to adjust your behavior without compromising your character.
Do not leave your circumstances in state of infancy. Grow up and learn, make it your own. Your walk in life depends only on you; nobody can make the decision for you. People can only encourage you and support you. Nothing happens without a reason, you are placed in that situation to learn from it and pass on the knowledge or benefit from it yourself, and if you make the same mistake again see it as an opportunity to be better this time. Regret should not be part of your vocabulary, you cannot change the past, learn to forgive yourself and stop looking back you may just turn into a pillar of salt.
Day 52 12 July 2011
There is so many books out there for young girls that has not been married before, but what about the advice we need when we are divorced and getting back into the dating scene, maybe you just a little bit older than the newly graduate (being gentle on some of our ages) and you need to know. There are his kids, your kids, our kids to consider. There is definitely an x-wife in the picture and two homes, so how should we handle our relationships responsible?
- Make God centre and Head of your relationship
- Do you have similar vision and desires
- Are you equally yoked in all areas
- Are you best friend
- Can you pray together
- Do you bring out the best in each other
- Do you miss each other when you not together
- Do you communicate
- Is he/she well respected within their local church, by family, friends, colleagues and the community at large
- Can you visualise him being priest in the home
- Are you honest with each other with the highest integrity, sincerity and trust
- Are you both faithful, loyal and steadfast
- Can you both say "sorry" and admit fault if/when necessary
- Is there romance, affection in the relationship
- Have you both completely dealt with the past (including past relationships) or are you carrying baggage
- Does forgiveness come easy in the relationship and leave what lies behind and press on towards the goal set before us in Christ Jesus
- Have you met his/her family
- Is he/she in a good relationship with your children and is good with and/to your children
- Have you got peace
- What is your spirit saying to you
- Fear and being nervous are two separate things. Fear is not from God and should be dealt with.
- Are you HAPPY
- Can you cry and laugh together
- Financially are you both financially sound and not deep rooted in debt
- Are you sensible with finances
- Responsible - in terms of holding down a job
- When your relationship is established you need to go to the same church. Being in two different churches invariably means two different visions/pathways.
- “Attraction” do not get so caught up in how sexy/gorgeous that you over look the spiritual side of things which is more important.
- Loving someone is a choice.
- a) Spirit b) attraction c) heart d) maturity ect.
- Making love is for marriage and it demonstrates a culmination of love shared/expressed between you. It is an integral part of marriage and not just based on "needs". Try to keep your physical relationship for marriage. There are many ways to express love to each other in the meantime
Day 51 11 July 2011
Fruits of the flesh
….you just met him. The ‘him’ you’ve been waiting for your whole life. Gorgeous perfection, delicious…..his body a mountainous landscape you’re dieing to explore. Sculptured by the Master, masculine magnificence defines him as feast for the eyes. His mere presence is an invitation for hours and hours of ‘happily ever after dreams’ and then….Warning signals flash in red. Alarm sounds. Be alert, be alert. A heavenly defense team is deployed to assist you in your moment of love struck moral combat.
The urge to undress seductively is strong….Slowly you take of your service sandals. The sandals you received for serving God in all walks of life. You forgot the Diesel sneakers of discipleship you prayed for to finish the race with…..This is not the time nor is the place to talk the walk you chose…this now you….and him. As you struggle ahead barefoot the angelic team run ahead to remove the rocks and stones in your way as devilish thorns are waiting, ready to devour the fresh flesh of un-scorned toes. The Holy Spirit releases his top marketing executives to show you’re the new catalogue of shoes……. But the him…the one’s whose footsteps you are blindly following….
All reasoning is beyond you….it is you and him, alive and breathing. Every second is an invitation and then…..you accept. The thunderous overwhelming pleasures of pain and fantasy, reality and dream that throw you into a spiral and within the haze of a whirlwind you are facing the hypnotic eyes of The Snake. A drop of juice dribble down on your chin as your teeth dive into the fresh flesh of the forbidden fruit and you know the time is here to face THE NAKED TRUTH
Written by Liezl Wagenaar
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