Fighting on your knees

Ladies, today I want to share something amazing.  I have been married before, once and really struggled with the whole submission thing. You tend to get this picture of domination and control over you, if you submit, do you not? The longer I am a Christian the more I learn about this interesting phenomenon. There are so many articles written about submission so many opinions and advice but what does God say really when he says submit to your husbands.

A few Sundays ago we learned that submission is not becoming a door mat saying yes and amen and being a slave but purely that both mom and dad have different roles to play. The woman’s roles are to nurture, care for and take care of our families. Dad provides and protects the family. So when a decision needs to be made within the family mom will come out of a perception of nurture and dad from a place of protection and provision because that is how we are made. Mom and dad discuss the matter with the whole family and then a final decision is made by dad. 

At this point some woman might say: ‘‘no’ I have just as much say!! Why does he have the last say” We woman do have the tendency to go into a role of control, control over the kids over dad because we feel that we know better and dad knows nothing. My problem in my first marriage was just that I did not want to give up my control because what if I get hurt again, what if I have to live under someone else’s terrible decision which is not the best thing for me or the family? It is a matter of not losing control over what is about to happen to us, it is absolutely normal behaviour. We try and hold onto things in the world to determine the outcome but do we really have control in the bigger scheme of things?  I am so sorry to be the bearer of bad news but we do not. So what can we do to help the outcome without dishonouring our husbands or insisting to get our own way?

PRAY, I had my first experience with my unsaved, x-husband that did not want to change my son’s school, trying to convince him was a task all most impossible. So the Lord said to me I do not want you to discuss it with him at all or nag him, I want you to pray. So I PRAYED. It was a matter of days before he came to me and in an absolute outrage exclaimed that he wants to change our son’s school. A miracle and a valuable lesson that I needed to learn before I got into a new marriage. My role is not to make the final decision but to pray for my husband to make the right decision. If God could change an unsaved man’s heart he can change a donkey’s heart. If things do not go your way after praying then it was not Gods way and be assured that God only wants the best for you and your family and that He does know better than you and your husband put together.

God wants to teach you to pray, fight on your knees the battle that seems so impossible. It is possible in prayer. Let go and let God take control in your family. Step into your role and pray for your family and if you are still single practice to pray instead of making things happen yourself. Let God teach you to become a praying wife and not a nagging wife. If you want a husband, do not stop praying. If you want to learn to be a good wife and have a successful marriage, pray and God will prepare you before you receive your husband.  If you want a husband that spoils you, pray and ask the Lord. If you want your kids to get along, pray and ask the Lord. If you want your husband to grow, pray. Fight on your knees. What a privileged honour for a woman to be able to pray and receive, to make a difference and be absolutely at peace at decisions made just by praying.

Love covers everything

This message I am sharing today is very close to my heart and have caused allot of hurt with me, my friends and family in the past. Allot of churches is somewhat divided in the concern of divorce and remarriage. I decided to write about it, to put it out there and try to understand God’s heart in these circumstances.

It states that a Christian couple can get divorced, if adultery has been committed. You are then permitted to remarry or in the case of a spouse that died. If there was desertion by an unbelieving spouse there is freedom for the believer to remarry, however, remarriages other than on these grounds are discouraged. Reconciliation is encouraged rather than divorce. Every effort should be made to restore the relationship. In regard of divorce and remarriage that have occurred before becoming a Christian, it is clear that it all falls into your old life, they are free to remarry under the law of Christ midst confessed and repented of.

So where does this leave us today, so many of us got divorced for many reasons other than adultery. If we are not allowed to remarry what will happen, sex outside of marriage instead of Holy matrimony, or just simply end up alone? How many of us are innocent in this circumstance, have been unfairly treated. Why do we have to find out now that we cannot marry again?

So what is my opinion....

God made a woman and a man to be together, to become one and multiply. That was the command. There was no such label as marriage. People labelled it and then corrupted it by asking Moses now what, what if you do not want to be with that one person anymore? So the people made another law, okay let’s call it divorce and then you free to do as you will, again it was made corrupt by the people. The Pharisees where like flies irritating Jesus with questions of the Law all the time. This is the same subject they bought up with Jesus and He responded; it is like adultery. The 10 commandments states do not commit adultery. The law does not state do not get divorced, the people asked for a law of divorce. God tried to protect the people by shielding their blood lines, but men knew better. God hates adultery because He made us to be with one partner for ever. God knows the consciences of divorce. Today there are so many illnesses manifesting in our children that doctors cannot explain for example autism. Ask yourself where it all started. The New Testament states if you so much as look at a woman or man lustfully you are committing adultery. If you want to get technical let’s get technical. If divorce was never instituted by God and marriage a human terminology then we should go back to the cross. Love covers all. Love gives me a second chance; love over rides the Law including manmade laws. Grace is what we operate on. May we judge people’s circumstances? Have we walked in those persons shoes in their destructive marriages? No, so can we really say what they should do and not do. Did Jesus not run a ministry for 3 years to free people from laws?

We tend to blame God for everything, but it is our own mistakes that cause us to fall. Man decided to divorce, it was not God’s plan for His people. God hates this Law as much as He hates adultery so Jesus compares it with adultery. A beautiful miracle that God created for us, being sexual in an intimate relationship with one partner is central to what it means to be human. We corrupted it with our lifestyles, we perverted it with our ads and movies and Hollywood. Sex was created before sin, WE corrupted it; we are the only ones to blame. So would the one out there that has not added to this sin please throw the first stone, every one of us have to repent, forefathers, you, me, everyone out there have contributed to the world we live in today, the corruption of what was made beautiful and pure.

I am divorced. I have sinned.

My heart’s desire is to have a second chance to make it right. I want to make a difference; I want to change generations after me. I have been forgiven by His stripes. By His grace I was washed clean, my sins forgotten as if it never happened.

Scripture references:

Gen 1:27-28

Gen 2:18-25

Lev 18

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

Matt 19:3-9

2 Peter 2:9

1 John 2:7-9

Proverbs 18:22

1 Tim 5:14

Heb 13:4

Matt 5:32

Mark 10:9

1 Corinthians 7

If I could give you a cocktail that would give you the following....

1. Freedom
2. Become carefree like a child
3. Always have food
4. Always have money
5. Health like a horse
6. The wisest man in town
7. Satisfied with life
8. Want to get up in the morning, never tired again
9. Never ever being scared
10. Never ever being worried
11. Receiving the best partner, custom made for you
12. Have 24hour bodyguard protection
13. Having authority
14. Having amazing kids
15. Receive a make-over and a brand new identity
16. Never to worry again
17. Every plan and process falling into place at the exact time, when you need it and how you need it
18. Understanding who you are and what your purpose is
19. Free insurance
20. Everlasting beauty
21. .....and to live forever

THEN

All you have to do is to take the cocktail in the morning and the evening as much as you can. If you decide to take it today IT IS COMPLETELY FREE!! Your gift purchase will be delivered immediately, and all you have to do is to say these words.

”JESUS FORGIVE ME, FOR I AM A SINNER”

Introducing you to the greatest man I have ever met

His a man of integrity, a man of His word. He always has a kind word to say, he always loves me, no matter what I have done. His never betrayed me or disappointed me. He has these little surprises He gives me, little gifts. He gave me a car once, the exact one I wanted. When I am in trouble He gives me money or food, depending on what is more important at the time. As a first opinion, He always seems to know exactly what is wrong with me. His advice sometimes seems crazy but it always works. When I am angry, He does not get angry back but pulls me into His arms and lets me sob until it is all out. He adopted me six and a half years ago and since then I have received favour where ever I go like a royal that gets right of way. In fact people even said I look different, some even say I look prettier. He whispers these kind words in people’s ears you know because He is so proud of me and gave me a crown to wear so that people will know I am a relative of Him. He makes me laugh and teaches me to enjoy the simple things in life, so now I do not miss the important things in life because of Him. He teaches me about love, he says if you love everyone you make this world a better place. When I feel that things are just too much and I cannot go on, He comes over and lets me sleep it off while He takes over my priorities and sorts it out for me so that I do not have to face it. When I am depressed he completely understands. When I am lonely He will stay with me for as long as it takes. His voice is kind; you can read every emotion in His eyes, such compassion and such intensity! He feels everything I go through because we are so close, He even knows how I am going to react before I do, that is how well he knows me. He makes it His business to study me. He is always available, I never have to wait. Everything I have ever received I have received exactly at the right time and He always caters for more than what I asked for, but it never waists because I drink in everything I can get from this man, everyday, for the rest of time. This man is Jesus

                                                                                               

The truth

Some of you are probably wondering what happened to the love vast. I did publicly announce a vast from men and then got engaged, here is my story.....

 Since last year May I have started dating again after vasting from men for 3 years.  My first boyfriend I had, I tried to convince myself that this must be it. I was faithful for 3 years surely I need a reward now; my impatience caused me so much hurt and disappointment, looking back now I tried to pray him into being the right person. I expected things from him that was unfair because he had his own journey with the Lord. After a 4 months relationship trying to mould him into this perfect picture of a husband for me, he packed up over night and disappeared, do you blame him? If God is not in it there is nothing we can do to convince God that I can make it work, human ability will just mess it up and I did.

I met a worship leader in church straight after that and knew he was not it, but needed to have someone through the Christmas time. A total rebellion decision and yes I had a wobbly, thought I can ignore God because it was entirely His fault that my relationship did not work out. Yes we are quick to blame God for our mistakes, but it soon showed that throwing a tantrum with the Lord does not get you anywhere, you end up making things worse and you find yourself in bad circumstance. This man was so negative, he was angry at everybody, when we went for coffee he would be upset about where we sat, who served us, how the coffee tasted, that the sun was too bright. He screamed at everyone in the car while driving, upset with the neighbours, even the cat got it. It was so depressing to be in his company that I could not take it anymore and surrender to the Lord...Okay Lord I know, I am sorry.

Christmas passed and new years, then I met a pilot, he had money, not so close in His relationship with the Lord, he drank and smoked, not the ultimate best that God has for me, we hanged out allot...for a pilot, (12 days in two months) at least he was not angry at everything. Although I knew he was not the one I felt like Mother Theresa that could help this poor man to get closer with the Lord, I can hear you , no Silma not again, but yes I went there, tried to show him by the way I lived that he would change. Did it work? Of course not!!!!!!

A month later I went for coffee with a man, leaving the meeting he contacted me 4 times, he knew that  I was the one. I remember crying at my friend’s house saying; this is not the one. He pursued me, even made promises in the name of the Lord. I thought there was something wrong with me because I did not feel the same but I forced it, it must be right if he is getting scripture, he was planning our whole wedding, surprised he did not pick out a dress for me as well, but deep, deep inside I had turmoil. I was confused about my happiness and the Lord was silent. I prayed and begged for an answer. Two months later the Lord answered. “Break into loud and joyful song for you have more children now being desolate than being married. You will soon burst at your seams.” It was the answer that I was waiting for, begging for and the Lord answered.

After that I decided that is it!!!! My heart has been thrown all over the place. Although I have not been sexually intimate with any of these men it still affected me and hurt me so much. There was a soul tie that was created just by sharing my thoughts and pains and desires with these men. So I made a choice. I need to vast from men again, run away from them and just feel sorry for myself and teach other woman on my blog what to look out for. All this could not be for nothing, all these lessons that I so deeply regretted.

Then the Lord spoke again. His intention for me was not to run away and hide in a vast, why was I making decisions without consulting my daddy again. God wanted to move me into a new place and I was hiding from it, why would God want to bless me after I have messed up so much and got involved in so many bad circumstances? But I listened this time, I was obedient and then it happened I met him, the one that was intended for me. This amazing man that is so much more than what I expected.  It was so easy from the start; we just melted together, made for each other by God.

No matter what you did or how many times you messed up, stay faithful, keep the hope, do not stop trying  your best.

It is GRACE

Stepping into the promise

The Lord does want us to be happy and it is scriptural to have a family and a husband so I do not believe that my Father would neglect that area in my life. So we all human and we lose hope so we need to stay positive. He has someone out there for you.....

I am always reminded of the past and why I would not get any blessing in the future and then the Lord says to me: “ No Silma, it is not who you knew or what you did in the past, it is how you live today, My Grace is what I give you anyway even if you messed up otherwise it would not be Grace but conditions, don’t I tell you every day that my Grace is yours, a free gift” That means that even if I do not deserve the best man in this world, my Father says that I do, because of Grace and not because of what I have done.

I am saved so I live “Life” not “death” and the difference are:

Life                                                                                                        Death

Prosperity                                                                                           Disaster

Kids                                                                                                        Barrenness

Blessings                                                                                              Curses

Good Marriage                                                                                 Broken Marriage

Good husband                                                                                  troubled husband

Ministry                                                                                               Searching

Long Life                                                                                              Short Life

Joy                                                                                                         Bitterness

Partner and Friend                                                                          Loneliness

Acceptance                                                                                        Rejection

Peace                                                                                                    Fear

Calmness                                                                                             Anxiety

Land and stability                                                                             Gypsy

Every time you go to the death side tell satan to let you go because you have life abundantly!!!

Two fellows-in-a-ship in the storm

 I have to apologise for not sending out my blog diligently everyday for the last month because I hit a tsunami for four weeks, July. Do not worry I am okay, barely, with battle scars to prove it. I was retrenched, my computer packed up, went into a depression, no finances and so on. One good thing is not feeling lonely because I know there are many of you that feel the same..... So okay let’s just stop for a second and ask why the storms, we are Christians and yet storms hit us so hard we sometimes feel like we beaten from every side by a baseball bat. Are we supposed to go through these storms? Did I do anything to deserve it? Did I sin? Does God love me and where is He in all this? Why is He allowing this to happen? Maybe you feeling lonely and depressed, maybe you have a very big decision to make, whatever it is it is, YOU in a storm and it may seem like nothing to someone else but for YOU it is hard.

This vast is all about learning how much God loves us.....He wants the best for us so how do we deal with these storms. Can God make it disappear?

The disciples were in a few storms during Jesus’ ministry. Background about the disciples, they where fisherman they knew the storms, they lived it and studied it, they knew the winds and what clouds bought what weather. The scriptures do not explain the disciples breathing one word to Jesus about not crossing the sea because there is bad weather coming. No, they were hit by a storm unexpectedly every time, although they knew allot about boats and how to handle a storm, they found themselves stuck in it and terrified? But Jesus pitched up every time.....

The Lord showed me a picture of a timeline starting with “A” and the end of the line a “B” call it the target, the end result. To get from A to B we need to go on a journey. We focus on the target because that is what we need to get to. Whatever your target is at the moment, a job, a sales target, falling pregnant, meeting a husband, putting a function together or making that big decision, you need to get to the result. Moving from A to B you need to go through the storm, the storm teaches you and prepares you for the result. We are so focussed on the result that we want to fly over the sea to the other side above the storm and get to B ASAP. God is not interested in the B part only we are; the B part is the reward the gift at the end of the amazing race. God is interested in how you get there, what are you doing while you travelling to B and what is your attitude and your faith whilst getting to B. Maybe if our focus is taken of B then we can walk on water. Think about it, Peter was the only man ever to have been able to walk on water, if he took the plane that day he would have missed out on being part of a miracle.

I have a different attitude about storms now, storms there will always be, we cannot wish it away. But when a non-christian looks at me and he sees me going through these storms I will only show joy so that they will say “How can Silma be so calm during this time?” instead of “look at Silma things always go wrong in her life”. Fear is the only thing that can steal my joy, and fear will not prevent me from being part of a great miracle, maybe I can be the second person that can walk on water, lol (watch the headlines in the Raport).

You are not alone in this; we all go through these storms. Christian, no Christian, people just do not always talk about their storms because it has become fashion to keep it together. God is teaching you every day, he taught his disciples to rely on Him through the storm and God creates miracles in the storms. So hold on to Jesus!!!! And remember “Christianity is not for sissies”....says the one fellow to the other fellow in the ship – “Fellow-ship”